Performance (enhancing?)

I just went out through the snow to buy some junk food. At the store, I decided to also pick up a Power Bar to eat tomorrow, because it will be a busy day. The label has the sort of meathead jargon on it that would not look out of place on an advertisement for high-end steroids.

I don't know if roid dealers actually use marketing, but if so, they might want to look at Power Bar for some sales tips. The promises "More sustained energy to muscles," and claims to be a "C2 MAX, higher-octane carb blend" whatever that means. The word "Performance" just under the Power Bar trademark makes me think of all the testing and talk about performance enhancing drugs in professional sports. Not only that, but according to the wrapper, the bar is Step 1 in a three step system, which is vaguely reminiscent of the cycles that creates roller coasters of mood and muscle mass in users' bodies.

It doesn't claim to create muscles the way steroids and human growth hormone do, but in terms of style, Power Bar looks a lot more like Creatine than a candy bar. By the way, the Power Bar had five more grams of sugar (total - 23) than the King Size Snicker bar, I just ate.